Monday, November 08, 2004

Jay-z’s startling admission!

Police talked to me rudely
cause I'm young, rich and I'm black and live in a movie

The $10.50 price of a Manhattan ticket for Mr. Carter’s ‘Fade To Black’ seems steep until you break down the expense…

1. A dollar (made from fifteen cents) – For the film being brought to us by a company called Marcy Projects.
2. Thirteen cents – For hearing the movie audience laugh at Jay-z snapping his neck to a track he likes and then quieting down as they watch Jay start flowing to it.
3. Eleven cents – For watching Jay hear the ‘Dirt Off Your Shoulders’ track for the first time.
4. Forty-five cents – For Timbaland enjoying his own work more than anybody while drinking straight from a gallon container and eating a banana.
5. Six cents – For no names or introductions for people on screen since the flick is for the fans and they'll know who's who... such as…
6. Eight cents – For a cut to Freeway’s backstage entrance inspiring some ‘Awww shit’s in the movie theater audience.
7. Nine cents - For Jay imitating the Freeway point and chop MC choreography
8. A dime – For Foxy Brown attempting to repair her outfit.
9. Priceless – For Foxy Brown failing to repair her outfit and pulling a Ms. jackson (actually a PRE-superbowl flash!)
10. Two bits – For Jay telling the camera to catch Kanye likening 'The Black Album' to a movie, with each song like a scene, and Kanye repeating his lines for the camera... and then doing it AGAIN in another scene.
11. Five pennies (for pitching)- For the film showing the crowd chanting “Hova! Hova!” for the song ‘Encore’ as Jay leaves the stage and then showing Kanye in the studio describing part of the ‘Encore’ track as the part where Jay would leave the stage and the crowd would chant “Hova! Hova!”
12. Seven cents – For Kanye playing Jay a beat which ended up on the Kanye album... which made you recall the days when Kanye was only a star to those that read liner notes.
13. Ninety-nine cents – For Rick Rubin accurately describing Jay-z’s ‘99 Problems’ cop-dialogue as “Some Slick Rick shit!” and watching Jay work out his cracker-cop vocals on the line “You some type o’ lawyer…”
14. A one-two, a one-two (or six cents) – For hearing a Rick Rubin / Jay-z collabo that didn’t make the album and realizing how many hot tracks are sitting in the vault somewhere.
15. One penny – For seeing Rick’s polar bear with the fez for the umpteenth time.
16. Priceless – For Jay turning to the camera in order to reprimand the record buying viewers who have forced upcoming MCs to pretend to be something they are not and be afraid to be themselves.
17. A big face Washington – For Jay reciting his “Dead Presidents” rhymes like poetry.
18. A dime and a nickel – For Jay letting the MSG audience rap all the Tupac verses during the memorial section of the concert.
19. Four (play) cents – For hearing the movie audience chuckle at the “Best of Both Worlds/R Kelly” portion of the concert… especially when he does a little jog across the stage.
20. Twelve (play) cents – For hearing R Kelly’s voice either overdubbed or lip-synced for his ‘Best of Both Worlds’ verse
21. Thirty cents – For watching Mary J. Blige do ‘Can’t Knock The Hustle’ and feeling that mutual admiration between Jay and Mary like “Damn… we here!”
22. Eighty-five cents – For Jay getting all LL on us but then flipping the ‘I Need Love’ verse to punch the line “Cry me a river / build a bridge / and get over it!”
23. A folded one – For Beyonce dressed like her background dancers with extra-large sequins and yellow pumps.
24. A quarter – For Ghostface singing Beyonce's ‘Summertime’ chorus hella outta key but with heartfelt emotions... like Starks always does.
25. A buck-fifty – For Ghostface just wanting to find a mirror backstage so he can look at himself in Slick Rick’s chains and medallions.
26. Sixty-six cents – For watching folks pile into the studio to hear ‘Lucifer’ for the first time.
27. One bit (rounded up to thirteen cents) – For watching Pharell set up the scene for his track (“Like Carlito’s way…”) and although it doesn’t bang like some of the other tracks we’ve heard, he gets Jay to understand exactly the state of mind he needed to feel the track and then watching Jay start to get all ‘RainMan’ working on verses in his head.
28. Not one freakin’ cent – For Fonzworth Bently, or whatever the hell his name is, dancing in the MSG audience.
29. Four and three and two and one cents - Jay giving Beastie Mike D props.
30. Two cents – For Young Guru getting listed on the ‘Fade To Black’ poster along with all of the other guest superstars.

All that for only $10.50! Change clothes and go.