Thursday, June 15, 2006

B'day girl

the B-girl stance

There was a Robin Hood Foundation Benefit dinner and concert last night. There were presentations by Jon Stewart and Jay-Z. There were some guests who were invited to the ‘concert only’ so the Daily Show host was not seen. But there was a Beyonce concert. There were three full costume changes and two half-changes where her dress becomes a miniskirt. There were covers of Diana Ross, Stevie Wonder, The Jackson 5, Luthor Vandross, and Rufus. There were strong indications of her future in Las Vegas. There was a big band that will soon be replaced. There was a voiceover running down sales figures and awards and career highlights in the middle of the show. There was a line where she mentioned “my ninth grammy!” There was no shame in her game.
There were sing-alongs and soul clap lessons for rich people.
There was interpretive dance, tap dance, ballet and that dance where Beyonce ‘forces’ everyone to check up on it. Sadly, there was no ‘Check Up On It.’
There was a parasol. There was a reminder of the stupidity of the line “Charlie, how your angels get down like that?” There was great appreciation of a fan (not fanatic) that blew Beyonce’s hair around when she stepped out on the runway part of the stage.
There were four back up singers on ‘Lady Marmalade’ who predictably showed folk what ‘soul’ singing sounds like.
There were a lot of vocal effects on B’s mic… particularly extremely delayed echoes.
There were burly gazzillionaires acting funky and drunk bujillionaires yelling “Do ‘Crazy In Love’… that’s what we came for!”
There was, surprisingly, no ‘Déjà Vu’ as in “Before I leave I’d like to debut for you my new single from my upcomingblahblahblah…”
There was no excuse for the lack of a cameo verse by her boyfriend on ‘Crazy In Love.’ (He was BACKSTAGE, for the love of Cristal!)
There was a little warmth but no overabundance of personality or improvisation. There was a lot of tight well rehearsed, expertly executed clockwork showmanship and glossy entertainment by a stunning looking young lady who can sing and dance for about an hour, no problem.
And for that, there was much rejoicing.

Since Jigga had stage fright here’s another take on his (and her) verses by the Snow Patrol... mistakes and all.

Snow Patrol – Crazy In Love